It's late October, and you can already feel it. The stores skipped right past Halloween, the family group chat is asking who's bringing what, and Thanksgiving is quietly taking up space in the back of your mind. Holiday stress has a way of showing up early.
Maybe you're looking forward to the food, the cousins, and the parade on TV. Maybe you're also dreading the long drive, the comments about your parenting, and the version of yourself that tends to show up around family. Both can be true at the same time. As a therapist who offers parenting support here in Cincinnati, I hear this mix every year. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful. It usually means you love your people and you're tired. The good news is that a little planning now can protect your energy later.
Quick answer: Holiday stress often comes from saying yes to everything and hoping you'll have enough left to get through it. A few small decisions made ahead of time can change that: knowing how long you'll stay, choosing one thing to skip, blocking off quiet time, picking a person to check in with, and preparing a short sentence for hard conversations. These aren't about avoiding family. They're about showing up as yourself.
Why do the holidays feel so heavy, even when you love your family?
Because the holidays ask a lot of us all at once. More events, more travel, more sugar for the kids, and less sleep for you. Add in relatives you only see once a year, and it makes sense that you'd feel stretched thin.
There's also something we say a lot at Conscious Roots: the past is lived in the present. Walking into your childhood home, or sitting at the same table you grew up at, can bring old feelings right back. You might feel 12 again before the rolls are out of the oven. That isn't you being dramatic. Old places tend to carry old memories.
Knowing this ahead of time helps. You can't control everything about the day, but you can decide how you want to care for yourself in it.
Five gentle ways to protect your energy before Thanksgiving
1. Decide in advance how long you'll stay
Open-ended gatherings tend to stretch on until everyone is running on fumes, the littlest guests included (and, let's be honest, the grown-ups too).
Why it helps: When you know there's an end point, it's easier to relax and enjoy the time you're there instead of bracing for how long it might go.
Try this: Pick a leave time before you get in the car, share it with your partner or co-parent, and mention it early to the host: "We'll head out around four so the kids can get to bed." Leaving on time isn't rude. It's a plan.
2. Pick one thing to say no to
November and December fill up fast. School concerts, work parties, cookie swaps, and maybe a third Friendsgiving.
Why it helps: Every yes uses a little energy. Saying no to one thing on purpose leaves room for what matters most, and it reminds you that you're allowed to choose.
Try this: Look at what's coming up and circle the event that feels heaviest or least meaningful. Let it go with something simple, like "We're keeping things low-key this year, but thank you for thinking of us." You don't owe a longer explanation.
3. Plan a quiet stretch of time on the calendar
If rest only happens after everything else is done, it usually doesn't happen.
Why it helps: Your energy works a lot like a phone battery. A quiet stretch lets you recharge before you hit the low-battery warning (and the snapping that tends to come with it).
Try this: Block out an hour or two the day before or after Thanksgiving and treat it like any other appointment. Take a walk around the neighborhood, read a few pages of a book, or sit in the car with a coffee while no one asks you for anything.
4. Name one person to check in with
The holidays can feel lonely, even in a crowded room.
Why it helps: Knowing someone is in your corner makes hard moments feel lighter. A quick check-in reminds you that you're not carrying everything on your own.
Try this: Choose one person, such as a partner, a friend, or a sibling who gets it, and let them know ahead of time. Agree on a simple text ("How's it going over there?") or a code word that means "please help me get out of this conversation."
5. Prepare a short sentence for a conversation that tends to get hard
You probably already know which topics come up. Maybe it's your kids' screen time, how you handle bedtime, or something in the news.
Why it helps: When you're caught off guard, the right words are hard to find. Having a sentence ready helps you stay steady and respond the way you want to, rather than the way you used to.
Try this: Write down one short sentence and say it out loud a few times before the big day. Something like "I hear you. We're doing what works for our family," or "Let's save that one for another time. How's the new job?" Short and kind works better than a long defense.
None of these will make the holidays perfect (if you find something that does, please call me 😆). They're small ways to take care of yourself, so you have more of you to bring to the people you love.
How can therapy help with holiday stress?
Sometimes the stress isn't really about the holidays. It's about old family patterns that show up every time everyone is together. That's where therapy can help. At Conscious Roots Counseling, our team of parenting therapists in Cincinnati helps you understand what's underneath the stress, not just white-knuckle your way through the season.
Parent support sessions (also called parent coaching) give you a space to plan for hard moments and talk through what's coming up for you as a parent.
EMDR helps painful memories feel less intense, so old experiences don't run the show.
Brainspotting uses where you look to help you work through feelings that seem stuck.
Synergetic Play Therapy helps children work through big feelings through play, which can be especially helpful during busy, overstimulating seasons.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to dread the holidays even if I love my family? Yes, and it's more common than you might think. You can look forward to parts of the season and still feel worn out by others. Both feelings make sense.
How do I set boundaries with family during the holidays without starting a fight? Keep it short, kind, and planned ahead. Decide what you will and won't do before you arrive, and use one calm sentence instead of a long explanation.
Do you offer online therapy in Ohio? Yes. We offer in-person sessions in Cincinnati and online sessions for clients anywhere in Ohio.
What to expect in your first session
Reaching out can feel like a big step, so here's what a first session with me looks like.
We'll start by getting to know each other. I'll ask what brought you in, what feels hardest right now, and what you'd like to feel different. You can share as much or as little as you're comfortable with. There's no pressure to tell your whole story on day one.
We'll talk about your family, your kids, and what support might look like for you, whether that's parent support sessions, individual therapy, or play therapy for your child. You'll also have time to ask me anything about how I work. My hope is that you leave feeling heard and a little clearer about what comes next.
You can meet with me in person at our Cincinnati office or online from anywhere in Ohio. When you're ready, book a consultation here.
Begin Healing With Conscious Roots Counseling
We specialize in trauma-informed, compassionate care for parenting support. Our therapists offer:
Online and in-person options across Cincinnati, Ohio.
A gentle, attuned approach at your pace
Tools to build safety, connection, and self-trust
If you're ready to get started, visit us to learn more detailed information about our approach, or contact us to set up an appointment.
Written by Jenny Liu, LPCC-S
Owner and Therapist at Conscious Roots Counseling
You can email her: jenny@conscious-roots.com
